Without self-confidence, self esteem and self worth, it is difficult to achieve anything or feel good about yourself.
How can we know when our confidence has gone too far? When does self-esteem become arrogance? How can you tell whether your self-worth has been overestimated or not?
What is the difference between a healthy relationship and a disordered narcissism ?
Do you feel that most people are “below” you?
Narcissists often have a strong sense of superiority. They believe they are superior to others and look down upon them with contempt.
You may judge others as “lazy” or “boring”, while you consider yourself “talented and interesting.”
Self-worth that is healthy does not depend on others. You don’t have to make others feel bad to feel good about you.
Are Your Goals Based On Impressing People?
Narcissists have goals that are centered around impressing others and being viewed in a positive way. Instead of having goals that are intrinsically meaningful, they seek out extrinsic rewards, such as money, fame, power or status. They believe this will make others admire them.
Healthy goals are those that you set for yourself, not based on whether others will be impressed. You shouldn’t care if other people are envious about your success.
Are you having trouble maintaining deep relationships?
Narcissists have a hard time maintaining deep and meaningful relationships. Although they may be able maintain superficial, surface-level relations, they struggle with intimacy, connection, and closeness.
It may be that they are so focused upon themselves, they cannot see or understand the needs of other people. This may be because they are using other people to satisfy their own wants and needs, without taking into account the needs or wants of others.
Healthy relationships cannot be unilateral. Support, consideration, and respect must be reciprocal.
Do you expect others to focus their attention on you?
They expect that others will focus on them, and provide them with the validation they seek. They may seek out compliments, or they might expect others to listen to their endless self-promotion.
Some people live their lives as if they were on stage. They are the stars, and everyone else just plays a role in this drama.
They may also become angry or defensive when someone doesn’t give them the attention that they believe they deserve.
You don’t need constant affirmation from others to have a healthy self-esteem. You don’t have to be the center-of-attention in order to feel good about yourself.
“Are You A Narcissist?”
The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, DSM-5, outlines certain criteria for diagnosing Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD). A trained mental health professional will ask a series questions and make observations.
In 2014, however, a group of researchers came to the conclusion that diagnosing narcissism using a single item narcissism scale might be possible. This is basically a single-question test.
“Are you a narcissist?”
They may even see their narcissistic behavior as a positive quality. They are usually aware of their narcissism, and will have no problem admitting it.
A person with a better attitude towards themselves would probably not feel as comfortable answering “yes”. They either know that they’re not or are embarrassed by their narcissistic tendencies.
Consider seeking professional assistance if you are unsure, or if your disordered character is interfering in your relationships or well-being. A therapist will help you to understand your thoughts and behavior and find ways to change it.
